Week 4 - Personality

This (mid) week, we talked about personality. To start off, Viji asked us to think of a one word metaphor for ourselves, as an introspection exercise. I've tried to define myself extensively before, but boiling it down to one word was surprisingly harder than I thought. In the end, I settled on a Radio: constantly expressing myself, occasionally eccentric, with a touch of melancholy reminiscence of the "good old days" at times.

Viji then put forward the theory by Sigmund Freud: Child is the father of Man. Our childhood is critical in building our personality, especially in four keys areas:

• Nature: The people and resources around us.
• Nurture: How are we taken care of and loved for.
• Experiences: Both good, such as exciting adventures, and bad, such as poverty.
• Free Will/Agency: Being independent, and holding responsibility for one's actions

Our personality is less about genes and more about our life circumstances. Even identical twins who lived in different households end up developing completely different personalities.

Carl Jung said, "Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves." In line with this, we did an exercise where we introspected about the type of person we prefer not to work with, and more importantly, why. I narrowed my biggest concerns down to a toxically dominant character. This made me realize that I value autonomy in my work. I appreciate being shown the direction to work towards, but I also demand the ability to figure out my most comfortable path to get there.

Viji then asked us to think about three personality traits we wanted to develop, and what meaningful steps we were going to take for that. Here are mine:

• Optimism: I am typically a person with high neuroticism. So I've been trying to be proud of myself for small wins, and to be less frustrated with others. I hadn't really thought about it until I am writing this now, but since then my life has been much rosier 😁.
• Self Sufficiency: I've been pampered all my life. Not complaining, but that has also made me very dependent on others. Over the past week, I've been doing small things outside of my comfort zone. It's tough and some of these tasks might sound silly, but also exhilarating and deeply rewarding!
• Worry less about others opinions: I have been a very self conscious person so far, trying to portray a perfect image. As a continuation of the previous trait, I have been taking effort to do things I want to do, even if I stumble around and "make a fool of myself". Funnily enough, people didn't even remotely care as much as I feared. In fact, my close acquaintances saw this as growth and cheered me on!

We closed the topic with the usual discussion on the differences between introverts and extroverts. In addition to the typical speaking points on introverts and extroverts, Viji also pointed out that most of us are somewhere in the middle. This was something that resonated well with me; although I typically identify as an extrovert, I am a bit more hesitant to immediately open up than a typical extrovert, and can occasionally require some time alone. To wrap up, Viji suggested reading "The Power of Introverts" by Susan Cain for more on this topic.

Week 3 - Time Management

 This week, after talking about big picture concepts like strengths and purposes, we came down to a critical everyday concept that keeps the wheels rolling: time management.

To start off, Viji ma'am, pointed out that the name 'time management' is inherently flawed. We are not focused on managing time; time is a universal concept beyond each one of us. What we really aspire to have more control over, is the way we utilize our limited energy over the time we have.

This resonated strongly with me. I have never felt the 24 hours I have each day to be a limitation. The bottleneck to maximizing my potential is always how I use the time when I am high on energy and motivation.

Even in the book Deep Work, Cal Newport suggests that most people in the workforce can really spend only around 4 hours a day after meetings and whatnot, doing meaningful work. Our performance does not improve much (if not drop) when this time is stretched. Rather, it is closely tied to using this time to its fullest with focus.

To effectively make changes to our habits and schedules, we first need to fully understand our current habits. For this, we did a 'Time Audit' - estimating how we use our time in a typical day, how efficient we feel this is and what can be improved.

My time audit was a reaffirming reminder of what I knew. Fortunately, social media (1 hour) isn't a major problem for me. However miscellaneous phone usage was high (3 hours) and could easily be cut down and virtually removed entirely. I was spending more than sufficient time on academics (5-6 hours), which made me realize that my corresponding output lacked not because of a lack of time, but rather because the time I spent was too distracted.

On the lines of my second concern, Viji ma'am mentioned that we must identify at what time(s) of the day we are highly productive, and makes sure we treat these periods as sacred undistracted work sessions.

Moving on, we discussed beating procrastination and estimating time requirements. For the former, Viji ma'am suggested that we read the book Eat The Frog.

For the latter, Viji introduced us to Parkinson's Law: work expands so as to fill up the time for completion. In order to avoid this, we must have a reasonable idea about the time a task actually requires. To do this more effectively, Viji suggested that we try and break our tasks into small, easily visualizable sub tasks and gauge the time requirements for those,  then working our way up.

Week 2 - Finding Our Purpose and Strengths

To start off with week 2, we had a discussion on what each one of us wants from life and work. Some of the points that came up were:

• fulfillment
• satisfaction (my personal favorite)
• fun
• balance
• value to society
• freedom

Although there were some patterns, it was quite evident that different people had different aspirations. Viji ma'am then pointed that, identifying and working towards one's 'ideal' life starts with finding one's meaning and purpose.

We were then introduced to the concept of Ikigai. Ikigai roughly translates to 'a reason for being'; a simpler way to think of it is 'why we wake up every day'. Using this principle, we performed a simple exercise to understand how our interests and talents can be put together to come closer to finding a calling that resonates with both.

What I Love Most	What I am Good at	What Can I Get Paid For	What the World Needs
Problem Solving	Problem Solving	Software Engineering	Software Devs
Helping Others	Mentoring	Teaching/Coaching	Teaching/Coaching
Seeing the Bigger Picture	Analysis of information	Consulting	Consulting

A quick analysis brought up a lot I knew about, and some more I previously haven't thought about. It was good to see that there is a strong correlation between what I like and what I'm good at, and also between careers the provide value (money) to me, as well as to the world.

My current interests lie in Software Engineering, but teaching was something I didn't consider. I would like to do some social work at some point, so maybe teaching on a voluntary basis would suit me. I had also disregarded management and/or consulting, feeling that it was attractive because it was flashy. But coming to think of it, I may have good scope in those fields at a later stage.

To wrap up the discussion on purpose, Viji ma'am suggested Victor Frankel's "Man's search for Meaning", so that's where I'm using my next Audible credit xD.

Moving on to strengths, we watched a video by Marcus Buckingham of the Gallup Organization and discussed its content. The idea was simple, and yet so counterintuitive to the way we work and live.

In our current system, we identify our strengths and weaknesses and then work on weaknesses. The idea is to make sure every student or person is a well rounded individual.

However, the video, and our further discussions suggested otherwise. That is, we should rather spend most of our time working on our strengths. As we grow, our personality grows around these strengths. So, instead of ignoring them to work in weaknesses, we should hone them to perform our best.

Obviously, the suggestion isn't to work on weaknesses at all. But rather, to acknowledge one's weakness, and once a baseline skill is reached, to focus on strengths. Although it is very much possible to negate one's weakness, it takes a significant amount of time and effort, and one is better served to work on their strengths instead.

Based on this, we took a self-awareness quiz, to better understand our strengths. My strengths came out to be emotional care and analytical thinking. This much, was pretty obvious to me. On the other hand, I found out only personal care (physical and emotional) were the only aspects I lacked severely to the point of requiring focus. Other "weaknesses" I thought I had, such as creativity and enjoying beauty, were average enough for me to not necessarily worry about them. This too, gave me a better idea on where I should focus my self improvement on.

To wrap up, we discussed some simple tips to start working on different aspects of our personality we wanted to work on, and we discussed the power of habits and starting small in aiding this process.

MS4100 and Me - Week 1

 What is all this?

Hello! I'm Hariharan, a Computer Science undergraduate at IIT Madras. For my fifth semester, I took up Soft Skills development (MS4100) as a course. As part of the course, we have been asked to maintain a blog about the course and our learnings weekly. And so here I am...writing this for my first week.

Why'd you take Soft Skills Development?

In essence, I looked at the mirror and saw a one-dimensional person.

Over these years, I have thrived. That is, by the most traditional sense of academics: exams.

But there are only a handful of interests I possess outside of academics. And for most parts, I have lacked the courage and willpower to pursue even those. Even within the engineering domain, I have shied away from technical projects because of my arresting fear of failure.

My reliance on parents and teachers means I connect well with mentors. But on the flip side, I am cripplingly dependent on external gratification. Thus, I have struggled to develop some sort of personal independence and self-esteem.

The one positive takeaway is that I'm acutely aware of my shortcomings. And for years, I've been a "self-help junkie", as people call it. First books, like 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and Drive, and later YT channels like Better Ideas and Thomas Frank.

So when I first found out about Soft Skills development, I knew I had to register. The course was on many of the topics I needed. But instead of having to go it alone, I'd be mentored by professionals and would have a group of fellow-minded students to discuss with. It was almost too good to be true!

What exactly are you looking for in the course?

If I had to say one thing only, it'd be building up self-esteem.

In the course pre-survey, I had written self-confidence, but Viji (ma'am, but she doesn't want to be called that 😅)  pointed out those two are different. Self-confidence is more temporary, dependent on the work you're doing and the situation you're in. Meanwhile, self-esteem is the overall sense of confidence and value one has in themselves as a person. This is more long term and not directly related to immediate work.

It was then I realized that most of my self-talk was based on dealing with lapses in self-confidence, but the root cause was low self-esteem. Without dealing with the latter, I'd just be playing a game of whack-a-mole whenever some challenge comes up.

A close second would be finding meaning. (This is why I'm particularly eager for the sessions on Ikigai)

So far, I've been running well-worn tracks. My family, particularly my generation, is filled to the brim with engineers, so there is a lot of life experience to learn from. And while I'm very privileged and grateful for this, it also means I need to be just that more proactive to go out, explore on my own, find my long-term drive, and maybe, just maybe, take a less-traveled path.

Two other elements of the course I appreciate are mentoring and working on communication.

As IITians, our outlook on the outside world is far too skewed, and perhaps a touch entitled. So to be able to connect with certified coaches will help ground us, as well as open our eyes to new opportunities. Given that our exposure has been curtailed due to the seemingly never-ending pandemic, this element of the course because so much more valuable this year.

So, what did you take away from the first week?

Firstly, that the term "soft skills" is a gross understatement of the importance of non-technical values and skills in the modern world.

We work within a system that gives first priority to proficiency in mechanical skills and raw aptitude. However, this system was developed over a hundred years ago at the height of the Western world's industrial revolution. At that time, it made sense: there was a pressing need for a disciplined and skilled workforce to work in the fields and handle the machinery of factories.

However, while our education system has stayed the same, the modern work setting couldn't be more different. Most monotonous and purely skill-based work has or will be replaced by autonomous machines. The work of today is more abstract. It involves thinking outside the box. One cannot merely operate on their own and must collaborate with others. The work is also multi-dimensional, and we must adapt and improvise at a moment's notice.

"Soft skills", such as adaptability, leadership skills, communication, critical thinking, are highly valued in today's workforce, but noticeably absent in any curriculum. And that is what this course wants to bridge.

We also talked about the T shaped skillset:

The idea of a T-shaped skillset was pretty simple: one must hold an overview of many fields, to be agile and adaptable. But at the same time, such a person must a deep practical and theoretical knowledge in one or two fields (s)he specializes in, to maintain technical expertise.

Finally, we talked about the tagline of the course, highlighting the various areas we'd focus on during the course and their importance.

 Towards Meaning & Purpose, Flow, Intent of Perfection, Attitude of Excellence, Fulfillment in Life & Work

• Meaning & Purpose: Do I believe I will find the meaning of my life right away? Absolutely not. My life has just begun at 20, and it'd be naive to "lock in" my purpose so soon. Rather, I hope that the course provides a holistic framework with which I can introspect when searching for meaning or feeling lost in the journey of life.
• Flow: Finding the work that takes us into our flow state; that is, areas of work we find so interesting that we lose track of time. It's just the right difficulty to be stimulating as well: not too easy and boring, nor too difficult and devastating.
• Intent of  Perfection and Attitude of Excellence: To be ready and able to put in our best work in whatever we do, and healthy competition to be the best version of ourselves.
• Fulfillment in Life and Work: Doing work that you are passionate about, and serves a tangible purpose for yourselves and others.

So, is this blog just for the grade?

Absolutely not!

Most side hobbies I have had revolved around my passion for expressing myself, and the two primary outlets I have been fascinated with are Debating and Blogging/Vlogging.

I had played around with blogging in high school, which culminated in bringing a group of friends together to start a Football blog. The blog sputtered out in a few months (its last remaining vestiges can be found on Facebook here), but nevertheless, that might be my most cherished memory of high school.

Since joining college, I have been part of the Oratory Contingent to scratch my debating itch, but I never really reignited my interest in blogging. Well, until now!

If all goes well, I'd love to keep this blog active beyond my stay in MS4100 Soft Skills Development, and hopefully help others who, like me, could use some clarity when starting out in life.

Cheers,

KR Hariharan